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  “Yasmin,” Gloriana said. Her clear voice breaking the surprised silence in the room. She looked in control as usual, not a hair out of place. “What are you doing here?”

  “I heard you were talking about me,” Yasmin said, walking toward the queen, who looked angry. “May I be included?”

  “No.” The queen’s reply was absolute. She stood up, walking toward Yasmin, who gasped.

  For once the queen wasn’t wearing a dress. She was wearing a business suit with a skirt, but still. Was this normal? “We have important things to discuss, and you are too young and immature to be a part of them.” She glared at Yasmin. “You don’t seem to be taking this seriously! The attacks have been increasing ever since you got here, a desperate attempt by the rebels, I suppose, and you have done nothing! And what’s more, you have refused to learn magic! What use are you if you can’t bring hope to the kingdom by defeating the rebels?”

  Yasmin wasn’t about to answer that. She had talked with Amanda a few days ago, and Amanda wanted to make sure the rouge army were sure they were willing to work with the queen before even telling the queen that the rouge army existed.

  Glaring back at the queen, she felt her words ebb away. From the kingdom’s point of view, she was giving up. But she wasn’t. She was fighting fire with water, instead of with fire.

  But were the attacks really increasing ever since she had gotten here? Was it her fault? Yasmin couldn’t help but feel a stab of guilt. If only she had been better at magic, if only she could do her job. People needed her, and she let them down. Time after time.

  Unable to say anything, Yasmin spun on her heel and left the room, making the queen narrow her eyes in triumph. Unable to bear being the center of attention, Yasmin fled to the library.

  Running across the hallway this time, dodging maids and servants and everybody else, Yasmin closed her eyes to hold back the hot tears coming to the surface.

  Why can’t I be good at magic? Yasmin thought. Feeling warm tears slide down her cheeks, she brushed them away. Why do so many people have to get hurt? Why don’t I have the power to stop them? Maybe Abby should have been the mage. She was more powerful than I ever was. I only won because of that stupid sword.

  Grabbing a random door, Yasmin flung it open and ran outside, just to get away. Sitting down on the grass, she finally collapsed, letting herself wallow in the self-pity and pain she had been holding back, knowing she needed to be strong, for Atlantis. But now it didn’t matter. Because all she did was fail.

  I wish Lucas was here, Yasmin thought. He would probably make a joke that would make me feel a whole lot better. I just wish…

  Hiccupping, she kept crying, letting out every pain. Yasmin stopped lying to herself.

  I miss David. Yasmin admitted to herself. No matter how hard I try, he keeps popping up. I just can’t let go of the person I fell in love with. Even if it was just a lie.

  Lucas’s face popped into her mind, laughing at a joke she made, but Yasmin pushed it away. She wanted to feel pain. She wanted to feel as bad as the citizens of Atlantis did, the ones who had been tormented for years. She didn’t deserve to feel happiness.

  David probably hates me now. She told herself, remembering all the mean words he had said. I guess I was never anything but a tool for him, was I? But if he’s so good at pretending, can I really trust any royal? Is Amanda really my friend? And what about Violet? Does she really care about me? Or is it my magic they’re aiming for?

  Why does it matter? I’ve come willingly to a land where all they see is someone who can save them. A faceless hero. The mage. I wish I never would have had magic. Then I never would have met David and fallen in love, and suffered so much. I just would have been at home, stressing about tests, not about saving a country.

  Yasmin chuckled dryly. A year ago, she would have done anything to have magic, to be special. But now she saw the price of magic. And it was deep.

  “Yasmin?” David’s voice sounded behind her.

  Yasmin buried her face in her knees, not wanting David to see her like this. “Go away,” she said.

  “No,” David replied, sitting beside her. Yasmin turned away from him. “You can’t give up now. The kingdom needs you. You’re the mage.” He didn’t sound mean, for once. He sounded… familiar.

  “I don’t want to be.”

  “You don’t have a choice,” David said, his voice hard. “You think because your magic is a bit out of control, that you’re the only one who has suffered? This kingdom has suffered for years, and it needs you desperately.”

  “No,” Yasmin said, ripping up grass. “It needs my magic desperately. And all I’ve done is hurt Atlantis.”

  “You’re not hurting Atlantis.” David clenched his hand in a fist. “And you’re not the only one who has suffered, Yasmin. You knew it wouldn’t be easy when you came here.”

  “But I didn’t think I would go through it alone.” Yasmin felt tears slipping down her cheeks again.

  David looked at her in surprise. “You are not alone.”

  “I am, David,” Yasmin said. “Ever since you left me, ever since you lied and deceived me, I have been alone. I have people all around me, but they are afraid of me, or only want my magic. There is no one I trust here.” She laughed bitterly. “And the worst part? Even though it was all a lie, everything we went through together, I still care for you. And I can’t stop the pain.” Standing up, she made to leave when David grabbed her wrist.

  Yasmin stiffened at the first real contact the two of them had in months. Against her will, memories began to rise to the surface, dreams and reality.

  “Don’t leave,” David said. “Don’t give up.” There was a touch of something familiar there, the old David she fell in love with. Yasmin felt chilled to the bone by how fast he could conjure up that David.

  Tearing her hand away, she faced him. “You left me all alone, David. And now you ask me not to leave you? But I already have.”

  She left him, the cold in her chest not easing, even when she was far away. She tossed and turned in her sleep. When she finally did manage to close her eyes, all she got was a nightmare.

  She was standing on a hill, the smell of smoke high in the air. The hill was overlooking a small town, built all of wood, very old-fashioned, with almost no buildings.

  Yasmin looked around her, wondering why she was even having this boring dream until she heard a scream, one filled with such pain and misery it made her want to shut her ears. The high pitched scream of pain and terror went on and on, until it finally stopped. That was when Yasmin woke up.

  Shaking in bed, she decided not to mention the dream to anyone. It had probably just been a nightmare.

  Besides, she didn’t really have anyone she trusted here…

  Chapter 17

  A talker, not a fighter

  The next morning, Yasmin went down to the kitchen for breakfast, as usual. People had begun to get used to her there, and she wasn’t given a second glance. The head cook was very nice, and usually gave Yasmin something sweet to eat.

  After breakfast, Yasmin went to her room. She was done. Done pretending, done trying to help a land that couldn’t be saved.

  Atlantis had suffered for ten years. Who was she to think she could change anything? After today was over, she was saying goodbye and going back.

  What about Lucas? A tiny corner of her mind whispered, but Yasmin ignored it. She couldn’t think about him now. She had to go home. Where she was safe, and where she was happy.

  But maybe she could say goodbye first. It was mean to leave without a goodbye. So Yasmin grabbed a light jacket and ran out the door.

  When she got to the orphanage the kids were all eating breakfast, all but Lucas. He was sitting on the grass, writing a letter, a pained look on his face. His blond hair seemed almost white in the sunlight as he wrote.

  “Lucas,” she called out, r
unning up the hill, a little out of breath. “Hi.”

  Lucas startled, quickly stuffing the letter in a pocket of his jeans. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but quickly hid it with a grin. “Yasmin? Wow! Didn’t expect to see you so soon.” He rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably.

  “Yeah, I um…” Yasmin found it much harder to say it than she thought she would. “I’m leaving Atlantis.”

  He looked taken back as he stood up. “Like a vacation? Cool.”

  Yasmin took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Why was this so hard to say? “Permanently.”

  Lucas looked at her, realizing what she meant. He looked sad for the first time since she had met him. “Oh. Why?”

  She hugged herself, wishing she was anywhere else. She could have cut the tension with a knife. “It just… isn’t home.”

  “Did I do something?” Lucas bit his lip, looking down. “Was I wrong to take your hand yesterday? It just looked like you wanted to get away from the prince, and I thought you knew how I felt.” He swallowed hard, meeting her gaze again.

  “No, it’s not because of that,” Yasmin said. “Wait, what do you mean?” She looked at Lucas, brushing the hair out of her eyes. The wind had picked up, and it was blowing in her face.

  “I like you, Yasmin,” Lucas said, smiling softly, his upturned face catching the sunlight. His gold hair shined in the soft afternoon sun. “And I thought you liked me too. But I guess you’re going back, so maybe we weren’t meant to be.” Lucas took a breath. “I hope you are happy back home.”

  “Lucas. I…” What could she say? Even if she liked him back, and she wasn’t sure how she felt, she couldn’t stay. It was too painful. To know that every second she stayed, another citizen might get hurt because she was too weak to stop it.

  The corner of his mouth twitched. “Just promise me that if you decide to come back one day, you’ll go on a date with me.” He let go of her hand.

  “I promise,” Yasmin said, feeling warm all over. She leaned forward and gave Lucas a hug, surprising both of them. It was nice, hugging Lucas. Sweet and warm and safe.

  Lucas drew back, kissing her cheek. He looked happier. “Bye,” he said, then turned around and walked back into the orphanage.

  Yasmin raised her hand briefly, then let it fall back into her side. “Bye,” she whispered, feeling cold. Making a fist, she walked back to the castle one last time.

  Back in her room, Yasmin saw the weak afternoon sunlight filter in through the windows. Had she really wasted that much time talking with Lucas? She had to hurry if she wanted to be home by dinner. It would be quite a surprise for her family, given she hadn’t told them.

  Looking at her packed suitcase, stuffed with books and clothes, Yasmin almost felt sad. Well, not sad. More like ashamed. A tiny part of her was whispering that she was giving up, but Yasmin ignored it. She wasn’t giving up if there was no way she could save Atlantis, right?

  As she got ready to leave Yasmin got an urge to see the library one last time. So she dropped her suitcases, pulled on a light jacket as it was a bit cool, and hurried to the library.

  As she watched the sun go through the windows, she felt a bit refreshed. She would be home soon and she was looking forward to it.

  Standing in front of the library, Yasmin took a deep breath and got ready to enter. Brushing away her nerves as jitters, she shook her head.

  “Yasmin,” Amanda called out, walking over.

  As usual, she was dressed grandly, with a silk shirt and a soft yellow skirt, and her brown locks framing her intelligent eyes and face. “I heard you were leaving. Why?”

  Yasmin glared at her, fed up with everyone. “You heard the queen,” she spat, walking away from Amanda, who hurried to catch up. “She said the attacks have been increasing ever since I arrived in Atlantis. All I’ve done is harm Atlantis. That’s why I’m leaving.”

  Amanda reached out and grabbed her arm. “You trust her?” Her brown eyes were wide, hurt. Yasmin didn’t stop glaring, though, not mad at Amanda but at herself.

  “Was she lying?!” Yasmin whispered, her face filled with rage. “Tell me it was a lie, Amanda. Tell me the attacks haven’t increased because of me!”

  Amanda’s face filled with doubt. She shook her head. “I don’t want to lie to you, Yasmin.”

  Yasmin wrenched her arm free, but Amanda grabbed it again. For such a delicate looking woman, she had a grip of iron. It matched the look in her eyes.

  “The attacks have been increasing ever since you got here, but it is not a curse. It was a blessing.”

  Yasmin looked up at Amanda, startled. “A blessing? How?”

  Seeing that Yasmin wasn’t going to run, Amanda let go of her arm, letting her hand drop back to her side.

  “It is a blessing because we are lucky that the rebels didn’t attack like this ten years ago. They were waiting for some reason. Their attacks, even now, only inspire fear, not concur this country. They are waiting for something. Maybe it is you.”

  Yasmin was silent for a moment trying to process the news. “But I haven’t done anything for Atlantis, not in three months.” She felt tears rising up again. She swiped at them, angry at herself for not being able to save anyone. “And I won’t use my magic ever again. I can’t.”

  “I know,” Amanda said, her face full of pity. “Violet told me.” She smiled, her face lighting up. “But you are wrong. You have done more for Atlantis than you know.”

  Yasmin snorted. “What, I’ve given them hope?” The idea seemed laughable.

  “No, you have persuaded the rouge army to make an alliance with the queen.” Amanda laughed at Yasmin’s shocked face. “Apparently, when a sixteen-year-old girl tells you have an ego problem, it makes you recheck yourself.” She laughed again. “His face was hilarious!”

  Yasmin walked over to a nearby bench, shocked. “So we actually have a chance? The queen and the rouge army will work together?”

  Amanda twisted her hands. “I’m still persuading my mother.” She saw Yasmin’s crestfallen face and added, “But it’s more progress than we’ve had in ten years! Violet and Maven were so happy. And so was David, though he was shocked when he learned of the rouge army.”

  Yasmin bit her lip at the mention of David. “So I’ve actually been helping?” Maybe she wasn’t a total waste.

  “Yes!” Amanda looked happier than Yasmin had seen her in months.

  With the weight lifted off of her, she looked beautiful, the light in her eyes highlighting her sweet face. No one would guess, looking at her, that she was a force to be reckoned with and one of the smartest people out there.

  “And I have a lead on the rouge army. If I follow it, I might know where they attack next!” She looked like she could jump for joy. “It’s all thanks to you, Yasmin. You are helping Atlantis in a different way than anyone thought you could.”

  Yasmin opened and closed her mouth, a little overwhelmed. “Wow. There’s really a chance.” She felt lighter than she had in weeks. “I really can help Atlantis without magic.” She was grinning so much, she feel like her face was splitting in half. But Yasmin didn’t care as she leaned against the stone bench. “I have to tell Lucas!” She jumped up and hugged Amanda, giddy. “Bye!”

  Running with all her might, she went to Lucas.

  Chapter 18

  Letters & unspoken feelings

  Yasmin clutched the rusty gate with her hand, gasping for air. She had run all the way from the castle to the orphanage, and now she could barely breathe.

  Grabbing the metal so hard her fingers turned white, Yasmin stood up and looked around for Lucas. Where was he? She had promised to tell him if she would stay. Was he out buying groceries again?

  Just then, in the late afternoon sun, she saw a figure coming toward her. Squinting, because he was right in front of the sun, she grinned. Is that Lucas? Yasmin thought, shading her eyes from the
sun. He looks about Lucas’s height, but I can’t tell if it’s his face…

  “Yasmin?” Lucas came closer, and Yasmin saw it was him. His blond hair was tousled, and he looked as if he had been playing rough with the orphans again, but it was him.

  “Lucas,” she said, and took a deep breath. Her lungs hadn’t yet recovered from running all the way from the castle. “I’m staying after all!” She saw his eyes widen in surprise and thought nervously… what if he isn’t happy?

  Lucas stepped toward her and enveloped her in a hug. Yasmin stood there, too shocked to hug him back. So he wasn’t mad? Lucas squeezed her tighter, whispering in her ear, “I’m so glad you decided to stay. I don’t care why. I just don’t want you to leave me.”

  Yasmin couldn’t believe his words. Did he care about her that much? Her eyes nearly filled with tears. It felt really nice when someone told you just how he felt. She opened her mouth, to say what she didn’t know, but at that moment her stomach grumbled. Loudly.

  Yasmin squeaked and pushed herself away from Lucas, turning red. That had to be the worst way possible to ruin a romantic moment! She sneaked a peek at Lucas from underneath her eyelids. Surely the kind, sweet Lucas wouldn’t laugh at her right? Wrong.

  Lucas clutched his stomach, bursting with laughter. Yasmin had never seen him so carefree.

  “That was…” He laughed again. “The funniest thing ever! I…” He kept laughing, making Yasmin turn even more red.

  “Stop it!” she said, snorting.

  His laughter was contagious, light and catching. “Was it really that funny? You’ll probably forget it soon anyway.”

  He stopped laughing at once and met her gaze, completely serious. “I’ll never forget a single moment I spend with you, Yasmin.” His green eyes shone with unspoken feelings.

  Yasmin felt her heart thudding in her chest. That was almost a confession of love, wasn’t it? And she wasn’t sure she was ready to give a reply. After all, no matter how hard she tried, her heart was still in pieces.